Why are some of my words left unsaid?

When confronting the question of why some of our words remain unsaid, why we cannot articulate what is on our minds or in our hearts, the Holy Quran offers profound and multifaceted guidance. This is not merely a psychological issue; from a Quranic perspective, it encompasses ethical, psychological, social, and even theological dimensions. The Quran considers language and speech a great blessing and a divine gift that places a heavy responsibility on humanity. Every word uttered is recorded by God, as stated in Surah Qaf, verse 18: “Mā yalfaẓu min qawlin illā ladayhi raqībun ʿatīd” (Not a word does he utter but there is a [watcher] by him ready [to note it]). This verse alone is sufficient to make us realize how significant and impactful our speech is, and this awareness can sometimes be a reason for caution and silence. One of the reasons alluded to in the Quran that can lead to not expressing certain words is 'wisdom' (hikmah) and 'insight' (basirah). The Quran repeatedly emphasizes the necessity of good, gentle, and effective speech. In Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 83, it states: “Wa qūlū li’l-nāsi ḥusnā” (And speak to people good words). Furthermore, in Surah Al-Isra, verse 53, it emphasizes: “Wa qul liʿibādī yaqūlū allatī hiya aḥsanu ۚ inna al-shayṭāna yanzaghu baynahum ۚ inna al-shayṭāna kāna lil’insāni ʿaduwwan mubīnā” (And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed, Satan is ever, to man, a clear enemy). These verses indicate that the criterion for speaking should be 'goodness' and 'the best.' Sometimes, words we have in mind, even if true, might lead to harm and discord if spoken at the wrong time or in an inappropriate manner, rather than improvement. In such instances, wisdom dictates that one should remain silent or rephrase their words. This silence is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is an embodiment of strength, self-control, and insight. Another reason could be related to 'fear,' but not fear of people, rather fear of God and the consequences of speech. Sometimes, a person refrains from speaking because they fear their words might lead to sins such as backbiting, slander, lying, or tale-bearing. The Quran severely prohibits these verbal sins. For example, in Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 12, it states: “Wa lā yaghtab baʿḍukum baʿḍā ۚ a yuḥibbu aḥadukum an yaʾkula laḥma akhīhi maytan fa karihtumūh” (And do not backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would despise it). This strong prohibition serves as a powerful motivation to control one's tongue and leave unsaid words that might damage others' reputations or create discord. Moreover, in some cases, a 'lack of clarity or certainty' in what is to be said can prevent its utterance. The Quran advises believers to verify information before acting upon it. In Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 6, it states: “Yā ayyuhā alladhīna āmanū in jāʾakum fāsiqun bi nabaʾin fa tabayyanū an tuṣībū qawman bi jahālati fa tuṣbiḥū ʿalā mā faʿaltum nādimīn” (O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and then become regretful for what you have done). This advice applies not only to relaying news but to any form of speech that might affect others. If an individual lacks certainty or sufficient information about a matter, remaining silent and not uttering those words is a wise act, consistent with Quranic teachings, to prevent future regrets. Sometimes, the inability to speak also stems from 'hypocrisy' (nifaq) or a lack of inner sincerity. A person might believe or feel something internally, but due to fear of people's judgment, losing status, or worldly gains, they cannot articulate the truth. The Quran severely condemns hypocrisy and encourages believers to align their inner beliefs with their outward expressions, except in cases where divine wisdom dictates silence. In Surah Al-Ahzab, verse 70, it states: “Yā ayyuhā alladhīna āmanū ittaqū Allāha wa qūlū qawlan sadīdā” (O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate uprightness). 'Qawlan sadīda' refers to firm, truthful, and righteous speech that originates from pure intention. If speech does not emanate from a pure intention and inner truth, one might experience hesitation or difficulty in expressing it. Finally, the Quran provides solutions for strengthening the ability to speak the truth and overcome these obstacles. 'Reliance on God' (tawakkul ʿalā Allāh) is one of the most important. When a person knows that only God is their protector and that no power other than Him should be feared, their courage to speak the truth increases. In Surah Al-Imran, verse 173, it is stated: “Ḥasbunā Allāhu wa niʿma al-wakīl” (Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs). Furthermore, prayer and seeking assistance from God for the loosening of the tongue and the power of expression, like the supplication of Prophet Musa (peace be upon him) in Surah Taha, verses 25-28: “Rabbi ishrah lī ṣadrī wa yassir lī amrī wa uḥlul ʿuqdatan min lisānī yafqahū qawlī” (My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance] and ease for me my task and untie the knot from my tongue that they may understand my speech), demonstrates the spiritual importance and effectiveness in overcoming these barriers. Therefore, the fact that some words remain unsaid can have various roots; sometimes it originates from wisdom and insight, and other times from internal challenges such as fear or insincerity, which can be overcome through piety, reliance on God, and prayer.