How can I put myself in others' shoes?

The Holy Quran, by emphasizing the principles of justice, benevolence, and mercy, invites individuals to deeply understand the circumstances and needs of others and to empathize with them. By embodying these moral virtues, one can truly put themselves in others' shoes and move towards serving humanity and achieving divine closeness.

Quranic Answer

How can I put myself in others' shoes?

The question "How can I put myself in others' shoes?" refers to the profound concepts of empathy, compassion, and mutual understanding. While the Holy Quran does not use this exact phrase, it offers numerous principles and teachings that guide individuals towards cultivating such qualities. These teachings instruct us on how to interact with others, respect their rights, and not remain indifferent to their needs, suffering, or pain. Indeed, the Quran aims to build a society founded on justice (Adl), benevolence (Ihsan), and mercy (Rahma), and this objective cannot be fully achieved without a deep understanding of others' positions and circumstances. This deep understanding is precisely what helps us to put ourselves in others' shoes and sympathize with them. This Quranic approach is not merely a mental exercise, but a transformation in individual character and behavior, where moral virtues become an inseparable part of one's being. One of the most fundamental Quranic principles that helps foster empathy is the principle of "Justice" (Adl). Almighty Allah commands the establishment of justice in numerous verses. In Surah An-Nahl, verse 90, it states: "Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded." Justice means placing everything in its rightful place and respecting everyone's rights. When we aim to act justly, we inevitably must consider the perspectives, rights, and needs of the other party. This itself is a form of "putting oneself in another's place"; it means understanding what impact our actions will have on others and whether anyone's rights will be infringed upon. If we can evaluate the consequences of every decision from the perspective of the other individual, then we have approached the true meaning of justice. This requires deep thought free from personal biases and helps us to see beyond our own self-interests, making decisions that not only benefit us but also the collective and society. This mental exercise, over time, transforms into an ingrained habit, leading the individual towards just and empathetic behavior. Another principle is "Benevolence" or "Excellence" (Ihsan). Ihsan goes beyond mere justice; justice means not denying someone their right, but Ihsan means giving something beyond what is due, out of kindness and goodness. This concept includes being kind to parents, relatives, the needy, orphans, and the poor. The Quran repeatedly emphasizes Ihsan. For example, in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 83, we read: "And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [saying], 'Do not worship except Allah; and to parents, good treatment; and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good words and establish prayer and give zakah.' Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were refusing." How can we show Ihsan to these individuals unless we understand their situation? The needs of an orphan, the hardship of the poor, the homesickness of a traveler – all these require us to put ourselves in their shoes and understand their feelings so that we can help them. Ihsan is the practical manifestation of empathy. When we show Ihsan to someone, we are practically demonstrating that their situation matters to us, and we strive to alleviate their burden or bring joy to their hearts. This act of kindness is not just a duty but an opportunity to strengthen social bonds and a sense of mutual responsibility, ultimately benefiting both the individual and society. Ihsan softens the human heart and guides it towards goodness and virtue. The third key concept is "Mercy" and compassion (Rahma). Allah introduces Himself as "Ar-Rahman" (The Most Merciful) and "Ar-Rahim" (The Especially Merciful) and encourages believers to have mercy and compassion for one another. In Surah Al-Fath, verse 29, the characteristics of the Prophet's companions (peace be upon him) are described as: "Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah; and those with him are strong against disbelievers, merciful among themselves." When an individual is merciful and compassionate, they naturally feel the pain and suffering of others, and a desire to help and alleviate that suffering arises within them. This sense of mercy compels individuals to delve into the depths of others' problems and look at issues from their perspective. Mercy means the ability to sympathize and stand with others in their joys and sorrows. For example, when you encounter someone who is ill, if mercy is present within you, you try to put yourself in their place and feel their pain so you can better help and comfort them. This shared feeling builds the foundations of a healthy and empathetic society. Mercy, in human relationships, acts like glue, holding people together, especially in times of hardship and challenge. Furthermore, the Quran emphasizes "Brotherhood" (Akhuwwah) among believers. In Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 10, it states: "The believers are nothing but brothers, so make reconciliation between your two brothers and fear Allah that you may receive mercy." When believers are brothers to one another, the pain of one is the pain of all, and the joy of one is the joy of all. This concept of brotherhood requires that every individual in society cares about the concerns and well-being of their religious brother or sister and strives to solve their problems. If a conflict arises between two people, to reconcile and mediate, we must be able to understand the reasons and logic of both parties and imagine ourselves in the place of each of them to reach a just and compassionate solution. This sense of solidarity and collective responsibility is only possible through mutual understanding and deep empathy. Finally, by prohibiting "Oppression" (Dhulm) and "Transgression" (Baghy), the Quran indirectly prompts us to understand the consequences of our actions on others. To avoid committing injustice, we must understand what injustice is and what harm it inflicts upon another. This understanding of harm stems from comprehending the situation of the oppressed. Additionally, Quranic stories of prophets and past nations are full of lessons that invite us to reflect on the consequences of actions and the importance of treating others correctly. These stories help us learn from past mistakes and interact with people with greater insight, avoiding the repetition of previous errors. Understanding that our actions affect not only ourselves but also the entire community is a strong motivation for deeper thought and more empathetic behavior. Therefore, "putting oneself in others' shoes," from a Quranic perspective, is a moral and practical virtue achieved through adherence to justice, benevolence, mercy, and brotherhood. This not only contributes to individual well-being but also forms the basis for building a strong, united, and empathetic society where everyone experiences security, respect, and mutual compassion. It is a continuous invitation to reflect on the human condition, to look beyond oneself, and to see the world through the eyes of others. This practice helps individuals move beyond self-centeredness towards altruism and service to creation, ultimately leading to closeness to God and His pleasure. By cultivating these qualities, each individual becomes an active and constructive member of society who can be a source of goodness and blessing for others.

Related Verses

Short Story

In Saadi's Gulistan, it is related that there was a wealthy and renowned merchant who had dedicated his life to accumulating riches. One day, a wise old man, who was well aware of the people's conditions, said to him: "O fortunate one! You possess vast wealth and power, but have you ever considered the state of that dervish who lays his head down hungry at night and wakes up in the morning with empty hands?" The merchant arrogantly replied, "I am concerned with my own affairs and have no business with others'." Time turned, and fortune did not favor the merchant forever. During a great journey, his wealth was lost at sea, and he returned to his homeland empty-handed and with a heart full of regret. It was then that he tasted the bitterness of hunger and destitution. Whenever he saw a beggar, he recalled his own bitter days. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he would say to himself, "I wish that when I had the means, I had lent a hand to the needy and put myself in their place." From that day forward, the merchant, having experienced poverty, generously helped the needy with his remaining meager possessions and never turned away any beggar. He would say, "I realized that to see the world through the eyes of others, sometimes you must stand in their shoes yourself to feel their pain in your very bones." Therefore, whenever you can put yourself in another's place and feel their suffering, you have then drawn closer to the truth of humanity.

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