Why does regret about the past sometimes not leave me?

Regret about the past is a profound and often painful emotion that many individuals experience throughout their lives. This regret can stem from mistakes we've made, opportunities we've missed, or decisions that now, in retrospect, seem incorrect. The question, “Why does regret about the past sometimes not leave me?” highlights an internal struggle that, if not properly managed, can trap a person in despair and hopelessness. The Holy Quran, as divine revelation, addresses this human emotional state with deep insight, offering comprehensive and comforting solutions to break free from this mental bondage. It guides individuals to move towards a brighter future with hope and reliance on Divine grace, liberating them from the shackles of the past. From the Quranic perspective, humanity is inherently fallible. Allah, the Almighty, repeatedly emphasizes that humans are prone to slips and errors, but what truly matters is their approach after committing these mistakes. Constructive regret is that which prompts a person towards repentance and self-correction, rather than trapping them in an endless cycle of remorse and inaction. One of the most fundamental Quranic concepts in dealing with past regret is the idea of Allah's 'Vast Mercy.' The Quran explicitly warns His servants against despairing of His mercy. In Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53, Allah states with a tone full of tenderness and hope: "Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" This verse serves as a beacon of light for anyone caught in the darkness of regret and remorse, conveying a message that no sin is too great to be forgiven, provided that one returns to Allah with sincere intention. This divine assurance is meant to pull humanity out of paralyzing guilt and instill hope. One of the main reasons why past regret can become a heavy psychological burden and refuse to let go is due to the whispers of Shaytan (Satan). Shaytan, the sworn enemy of humanity, constantly strives to mislead individuals from the path of truth and progress by instilling despair, incessantly reminding them of their mistakes, and exaggerating their past sins. He wants people to feel that there is no way back, or that they are too sinful to deserve forgiveness. The Quran repeatedly mentions Shaytan's clear enmity and warns us against his temptations. If our regret transforms into an obsession that prevents us from moving forward, from performing good deeds, and from hoping for the future, then we have fallen into Shaytan's trap. In such a state, one must seek refuge in Allah and, by remembering the vastness of His mercy, repel these temptations. Instead of drowning in negative thoughts, one should resort to the remembrance of Allah, which brings tranquility to the heart. The Quranic solution to this crippling regret is 'Tawbah Nasuh,' or sincere and genuine repentance. Tawbah is more than just uttering a word; it is a profound spiritual process that involves deep remorse for the sin, a firm resolve to abandon it, making amends (if possible, such as restoring rights to others), and a sincere return to Allah. In Surah At-Tahrim, verse 8, Allah commands the believers: "O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance..." Sincere repentance not only cleanses past sins but also grants a person an opportunity for a fresh start with stronger resolve and a purer heart. This act of repentance transforms regret from a heavy, paralyzing burden into a valuable lesson and an impetus for improvement. When a person repents with their whole being and surrenders themselves to divine mercy, they feel a sense of lightness and peace, and the heavy burden of the past no longer troubles them. The regret itself might not vanish entirely, but its nature changes from a despairing one to a constructive regret, serving as a reminder not to repeat past errors. Furthermore, focusing on the present and the future and performing 'Amal Salih' (righteous deeds) are also crucial Quranic principles for overcoming past regret. The past is like water that has flowed away and cannot return; however, the future is fertile ground where seeds of good deeds can be sown. The Holy Quran consistently emphasizes the importance of continuous striving to attain Allah's pleasure at every moment. Instead of dwelling on the 'what ifs' of the past, one should direct their energy and effort towards performing good deeds, helping others, strengthening faith, and maintaining a strong connection with Allah. Every good deed performed today can compensate for past shortcomings and weigh heavily in our balance of deeds. This active and positive outlook rescues an individual from the inertia caused by regret and leads them towards dynamism and hope. In Surah Al-Kahf, verse 46, Allah states: "Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope." This verse reminds us that true value lies in the righteous deeds we perform in the present and the hope for their reward in the future, rather than regretting what has been lost. Moreover, accepting 'Qada and Qadar' (Divine decree), which signifies complete reliance on Allah in all matters, helps individuals come to terms with what has happened in the past, including mistakes and hardships. This acceptance does not imply irresponsibility but acknowledges that some events, despite our efforts, may have unfolded differently according to Allah's wisdom. This perspective helps us break free from fruitless 'what if' questions and focus on the positive aspects, such as learning from errors and gaining experience. Constant remembrance of Allah (Dhikr) also serves as a secure refuge for anxious hearts. In Surah Ar-Ra'd, verse 28, Allah says: "Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts find tranquility." The remembrance of Allah, regardless of what has transpired in the past, can restore peace to restless hearts and release them from the heavy burden of regret. In summary, liberating oneself from past regret is a journey that requires a deep awareness of Allah's boundless mercy, faith in the transformative power of repentance, and continuous striving towards righteousness and hope for the future. The past should be viewed as a valuable teacher for the present and future, not as a jailer that keeps us imprisoned. Each time regret resurfaces, we should remember that there is always an opportunity for correction, repentance, and seeking Allah's pleasure. Allah is more merciful than to leave us in regret and despair for a past from which we have sincerely repented. This hope and forward momentum are signs of true faith and will release us from the heavy burden of the past, guiding us towards success and salvation.