Is sometimes overlooking better than admonishing?

In the teachings of the Holy Quran, the guidance and upbringing of human beings hold special significance. Allah Almighty guides His servants towards truth and virtue and expects them to assist each other on this path. This mutual assistance includes the principle of "Amr bil Ma'ruf wa Nahy anil Munkar," which means enjoining good and forbidding evil. From this perspective, admonition and advice are among the crucial duties of every Muslim towards their fellow believers and society. The Quran explicitly commands believers to "Tawāsaw bil-Ḥaqqi wa Tawāsaw biṣ-Ṣabr" (Surah Al-Asr, verse 3), meaning to advise one another to truth and patience. It defines a successful community as one that "yadʿūna ilal-khayri wa yaʾmurūna bil-maʿrūfi wa yanhawna ʿanil-munkar" (Surah Ali 'Imran, verse 104), meaning they invite to goodness, enjoin what is right, and forbid what is wrong. These verses, among many others, highlight the necessity of admonition and awakening in the path of righteousness and salvation. However, the Quran does not merely emphasize absolute admonition; it also stresses the *manner* and *timing* of admonition. This is where the concept of "overlooking" or "turning away" (i'rad) in the sense of not confronting directly and showing forbearance comes into play. In Surah An-Nahl (verse 125), Allah says: "Udʿu ilā sabīli rabbika bil-ḥikmati wal-mawʿiẓatil-ḥasanati wajādilhumbillatī hiya aḥsan." This verse outlines key principles for inviting to the way of your Lord and giving admonition: do so with wisdom, with good instruction (maw'izatul hasanah), and argue with them in a way that is best. Wisdom (hikmah) means a deep understanding of the situation, the timing, the character of the addressee, and the potential impact of one's words. Good instruction (maw'izatul hasanah) means speaking gently, kindly, compassionately, and without blame or humiliation. These principles indicate that admonition should not be a mere mechanical reaction, but rather a perceptive and purposeful act. In many cases, direct and inconsiderate admonition can be counterproductive. If a person is not in a suitable emotional state, or if their mistake is due to ignorance rather than malice, or if admonishing them would lead to stubbornness, resentment, or loss of dignity, then overlooking and forbearance are wiser and more effective. In Surah Al-A'raf (verse 199), addressing Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Allah says: "Khudh al-ʿafwa waʾmur bil-ʿurfi wa aʿriḍ ʿanil-jāhilīn." This verse contains three important commands: embrace forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant. "A'ridh ʿanil-jāhilīn" specifically means overlooking the immature or provocative behaviors of ignorant individuals and not engaging with them. This approach is not out of indifference, but out of wisdom, to prevent the escalation of conflict and the waste of time and energy. Furthermore, the Quran describes the characteristics of "Ibadur Rahman" (the special servants of Allah) in Surah Al-Furqan (verse 63) as follows: "Wa ʿibādur-Raḥmāni alladhīna yamshūna ʿalal-arḍi hawnan wa idhā khāṭabahumul-jāhilūna qālū salāmā." This means the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth humbly and gently, and when the ignorant address them (and speak inappropriately), they respond only with "peace." This verse also indicates that in the face of futile or insulting words, the best response can be to overlook and avoid contention. This overlooking is not a sign of weakness, but the pinnacle of self-control and wisdom; a power that enables an individual to avoid the fire of fruitless disputes and preserve their own peace and that of society. Therefore, it can be concluded that the Holy Quran teaches a balanced and wise approach in this regard. Admonition and advice are obligatory and necessary in their proper context, but they must be done with wisdom, kindness, and in the best manner. In situations where admonition would be futile, or cause greater harm, or if the addressee is unreceptive, then overlooking and turning away is the more correct strategy. This overlooking does not imply indifference to right and wrong, but rather is an intelligent tactic for managing relationships, preserving peace, and preventing the deepening of resentments. This approach allows an individual to be more effective in the long run through practical example, good conduct, and patience. It is the art of living to know when to speak and when to remain silent; when to admonish and when to pass over a mistake, with the hope that the person will correct themselves, or that conditions for a more effective admonition will become favorable in the future. This wisdom applies not only to individual relationships but also to societal management and international relations, always seeking the maximum good and the minimum harm.