When should we forgive and when should we not?

The concept of forgiveness holds a very special place in Quranic teachings and is considered a prominent moral virtue that believers are strongly encouraged to adopt. The Holy Quran repeatedly emphasizes the importance of pardon (afw) and overlooking (safh), deeming them signs of piety and spiritual grandeur. In many instances, forgiveness benefits not only the wronged individual but also significantly contributes to the improvement of social relations and the attainment of divine pleasure. This virtue not only grants inner peace but also paves the way for spiritual growth and closeness to Allah. However, the act of forgiveness is not always straightforward; it must be exercised with wisdom and discernment to prevent the infringement of rights or the encouragement of further oppression by the oppressor. In the Holy Quran, pardon and overlooking (turning away from blame and punishment) are frequently recommended. For instance, in Surah Al-Imran, verse 134, Allah describes the righteous as: "...those who restrain anger and pardon people; and Allah loves the doers of good." This verse indicates that controlling one's anger and forgiving the faults of others are outstanding characteristics of those who do good and are beloved by Allah. This is not merely an individual virtue; it is considered one of the fundamental pillars for building a healthy and vibrant society. In an environment where individuals forgive each other and do not harbor grudges, growth, cooperation, and solidarity can flourish. Furthermore, in Surah An-Nur, verse 22, Allah instructs believers to forgive and overlook, stating: "...and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you?" This is a rhetorical question that expresses the profound importance of forgiveness; if we expect forgiveness from Allah, then we ourselves must be forgiving towards others. This reciprocal perspective forms the cornerstone of divine mercy and its inclusivity towards His servants. Forgiveness within this framework is a bilateral transaction with Allah, whose reward is the remission of sins and the attainment of His pleasure. This is especially crucial in family and friendly relationships, where minor and major mistakes can occur. Forgiveness in these relationships not only prevents their dissolution but also deepens and strengthens them. However, when should one ponder or refrain from forgiveness? While encouraging forgiveness, the Quran also emphasizes the importance of justice and upholding rights. Islam is not a religion that promotes submission to oppression or allows the rights of individuals to be trampled upon. Verse 40 of Surah Ash-Shura states: "And the retribution for an evil act is an evil act equivalent to it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers." This verse introduces two aspects: the right to retaliation and punishment proportionate to the crime, and the virtue of forgiveness. The latter part of the verse indicates that forgiveness is desirable when it leads to "reconciliation" (islah). Reconciliation can mean the reform of the wrongdoer, the mending of a relationship, or the improvement of a social situation. If forgiveness does not lead to reconciliation and encourages the oppressor to continue their tyranny, or jeopardizes the rights of others, then one should act with greater caution. For example, if an individual commits a crime that violates public rights or the rights of other innocent people (such as theft, murder, or social corruption), personal forgiveness in these cases cannot replace the implementation of judicial justice. In such instances, justice and the enforcement of laws are necessary to maintain social order and prevent the recurrence of crime. The important point is that forgiveness should not mean disregarding rights or absolving the oppressor from accountability. In cases where forgiveness emboldens the oppressor and allows them to continue their injustice, or if it infringes upon the rights of others, Islam recommends upholding justice instead of forgiveness. Similarly, in cases where withholding forgiveness is aimed at preventing greater injustice or protecting society, it is justifiable from a Quranic perspective. For example, if an individual repeatedly and unrepentantly commits an offense, and continuous forgiveness only emboldens them, then legal action and punishment become necessary to prevent recurrence and protect others from harm. In the case of crimes that have a public dimension, forgiveness by affected individuals cannot prevent the execution of divine or legal decrees, as these crimes harm not just a specific individual but the entire society. Therefore, the Islamic ruler or judicial system has a responsibility to establish justice, even if the complaining party has personally agreed to forgive. This distinction between individual rights (Huquq al-Nas) and public rights or the rights of Allah (Huquq Allah) is extremely important. Ultimately, Islam is a balanced religion that values both mercy and compassion, as well as justice and upholding rights. The general principle is that forgiveness is highly recommended for peace, inner tranquility, and divine reward, but it must be accompanied by insight and wisdom. Forgiveness should lead to good and righteousness, not contribute to injustice or the perpetuation of oppression. The main criterion for forgiveness is the willingness for reform (of the wrongdoer or the situation) and the prevention of further harm. If forgiveness contributes to these goals, it is highly virtuous. If it undermines these goals, then justice and the upholding of rights take precedence over forgiveness. In any case, the principle is that a believing person should practice the attribute of pardon and forgiveness as long as it does not harm themselves or others, because this attribute is among the attributes of Allah and leads to closeness to Him and His pleasure.