How can I forgive myself and move on?

Understanding the concept of self-forgiveness and moving forward from the perspective of the Holy Quran requires a deep comprehension of Allah's boundless mercy and the significant role of repentance in Islam. The Quran emphasizes the truth that Allah, the Exalted, is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful, and no sin is too great to be beyond His forgiveness, provided His servant returns to Him with sincerity and devotion. This fundamental belief forms the backbone of self-forgiveness and liberation from the heavy burden of past regrets. The first and most crucial step on this path is “Tawbah Nasuhah” or sincere repentance to Allah. Repentance is not merely uttering “Astaghfirullah” (I seek forgiveness from Allah); rather, it is a heartfelt and practical process comprising several essential pillars: genuine regret for the sin committed, immediate abandonment of that sin, and a firm resolve never to return to it in the future. If the sin committed infringed upon the rights of others (Haqq al-Nas), meaning harm was inflicted upon someone or their property was unjustly taken, then part of the repentance includes rectifying that right and seeking forgiveness from the aggrieved party. This aspect of repentance demonstrates that true liberation from the burden of sin is possible only through returning to Allah and, if applicable, mending human relationships. The Quran states in Surah At-Tahrim, verse 8: “O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your misdeeds and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow.” This verse illustrates Allah’s promise to accept repentance and forgive sins. Another vital point emphasized by the Quran is not to despair of Allah’s mercy. Despair of divine mercy is itself considered a major sin and opens the door for devils to control one's soul and mind. Shaytan constantly tries to keep individuals trapped in perpetual regret and self-blame, preventing them from progressing and achieving spiritual perfection. Allah says in Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53: “Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'” This verse is a beacon of hope, assuring individuals that no matter how numerous their sins, the door of Allah’s mercy is never closed. When Allah Himself promises forgiveness, there is no reason to continue self-blaming and withholding self-forgiveness. Forgiving oneself does not mean ignoring past mistakes; rather, it means learning from them and preventing their repetition. The Holy Quran teaches us that “Indeed, good deeds do away with ill deeds” in Surah Hud, verse 114. This verse offers a practical solution for moving forward: after repentance, by performing righteous deeds, good works, and charitable acts, we can compensate for the negative effects of past sins. Engaging in worship, helping others, acquiring and spreading knowledge, performing good deeds, and serving creation are all ways that not only contribute to an individual’s spiritual and moral growth but also lighten the heavy burden of the past. These activities shift one’s focus from self-blame toward building a better and more satisfying future with the Lord. To move forward, it is crucial to learn from past experiences and view them as a teacher, not an executioner. Every human being makes mistakes in their life, but the difference lies in how they deal with these mistakes. A true Muslim is one who learns from their errors, repents, and moves steadfastly towards perfection. In this journey, strengthening one’s connection with Allah through prayer, supplication (dua), remembrance (dhikr), and recitation of the Quran is highly effective. This spiritual connection brings inner peace and provides the necessary strength to counter the whispers of Shaytan and release the psychological burden of the past. The verse “Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured” in Surah Ar-Ra'd, verse 28, perfectly illustrates this truth. Therefore, self-forgiveness and moving on is a comprehensive process rooted in Quranic and Islamic principles. This process includes sincere repentance to Allah, reliance on His boundless mercy, avoidance of despair, rectifying mistakes with good deeds, and learning from the past to build a brighter future. With this approach, individuals can free themselves from the shackles of past sins and continue their life journey with hope and inner peace, in alignment with divine pleasure.