Why do I sometimes compare myself to Satan?

The feeling of sometimes comparing oneself to Satan is a profound and often distressing experience that stems from our understanding of good and evil, the internal human struggle, and the influence of Satanic whispers. It is an honest acknowledgment of inner conflicts that can be examined from various perspectives within Quranic teachings. The Holy Quran identifies Satan (Iblis) as the clear enemy of humanity, outlining his primary characteristics as arrogance (kibr), envy (hasad), disobedience to divine command, and temptation. When a person experiences such a feeling, it might be because they observe certain traits or behaviors within themselves that unconsciously align with Satanic attributes, or because they are heavily influenced by temptations that push them towards sin or undesirable actions. From a Quranic perspective, Iblis was expelled from God's mercy due to his arrogance and refusal to prostrate to Adam. He considered himself superior to Adam, being created from fire while Adam was from clay. This arrogance was the root cause of his downfall. Humans, too, may at times succumb to pride, self-conceit, or envy; these are traits that, in themselves, can be sources of sin and disobedience. When an individual recognizes such inclinations within themselves, this resemblance might cause concern and lead to an uncomfortable comparison with Satan. The Quran repeatedly warns humans against arrogance and encourages humility. For instance, in Surah Luqman (verse 18), Allah states: "And do not turn your cheek in arrogance toward people or walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluded and boastful." This verse directly addresses the most fundamental Satanic trait: arrogance. Another factor that can lead to this feeling is Satanic whispers (waswasa). Satan has vowed to lead humans astray from the straight path. He operates by instilling negative thoughts, encouraging sin, creating doubt in faith, and beautifying undesirable actions. When an individual struggles internally with negative thoughts, sinful temptations, or an inclination to do things displeasing to Allah, and knows that these temptations come from Satan, they might feel that they are also becoming 'Satanic.' However, it is crucial to understand that these temptations are external and do not originate from the pure essence of human nature. Allah created humans with a pure disposition (fitra) and endowed them with the ability to distinguish right from wrong. (Surah Ash-Shams, verses 7-8: "And [by] the soul and [by] Him who proportioned it and inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness.") Struggling against these whispers is a sign of faith and an effort to preserve the purity of one's fitra, not a sign of resemblance to Satan. The fundamental difference between humans and Satan is that Satan has permanently closed the door to repentance and return for himself. He defiantly disobeyed God's command out of obstinacy and never regretted it. Humans, however, even if they sin and fall for temptations, always have the door of repentance and return to Allah open to them. This capacity for repentance is a great privilege for humans that distinguishes them from Satan. The Holy Quran repeatedly encourages humans to repent and seek forgiveness, promising divine pardon. (Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53: "Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'") This verse shows that no matter how much guilt or similarity to evil we feel within ourselves, there is always a path back to purity. If you experience such a feeling, it can be a sign of a healthy conscience. This feeling serves as a warning bell, urging you towards deeper self-awareness and a struggle against the negative aspects of your being. This comparison does not mean you are inherently Satanic, but rather it indicates your alertness to Satanic influences and your inner struggle with the inciting self (nafs al-ammarah). The Quran encourages humans in the 'greater jihad' (struggle against the self). This struggle is inevitable for every human being and is a sign of spiritual dynamism and effort towards attaining perfection. To overcome this feeling and strengthen the positive aspects of your being, the Quran offers practical solutions: The first and most important step is seeking refuge in Allah from the evil of Satan. (Surah An-Nas: "Say, 'I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind... from the evil of the retreating whisperer - who whispers [evil] into the breasts of mankind - from among the jinn and mankind.'") This act is not just a verbal invocation but a heartfelt and practical recourse to divine power. Second, abundant remembrance (dhikr) of Allah, which increases the light in the heart and lessens the effect of Satanic whispers. Third, continuous repentance and seeking forgiveness, which purifies the soul from impurities. Fourth, pondering over the verses of the Quran and acting upon divine commands, which strengthens one's steadfastness on the straight path. Fifth, avoiding environments and factors that encourage sin and associating with righteous people. By adhering to these solutions, one can overcome this feeling and achieve spiritual tranquility and closeness to Allah, understanding that any negative feeling or self-comparison with Satan is merely a part of divine testing and a wake-up call for conscience to strive for perfection.