Is being alone better than a toxic relationship?

When addressing the question of whether being alone is better than being in a toxic relationship, from the perspective of the Holy Quran and Islamic principles, the answer can unequivocally be affirmative. Islam, with its emphasis on the spiritual and physical well-being of individuals, and the importance of inner peace and tranquility, prohibits anything that causes harm, whether physical or psychological. A toxic relationship, also known as an unhealthy relationship, encompasses any connection that, instead of providing peace, love, and growth, becomes a source of suffering, anxiety, character destruction, or even physical and emotional abuse. Such relationships fundamentally contradict the core teachings of the Quran. Indeed, the Holy Quran defines the purpose of human relationships, especially within the context of marriage, as the establishment of 'Mawaddah and Rahmah' (affection and mercy) and the attainment of 'tranquility' (sakinah). Allah Almighty states in Surah Ar-Rum, verse 21: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." This verse paints an ideal picture of a healthy relationship built on peace, affection, and mercy. If a relationship loses these fundamental pillars and instead becomes a source of turmoil, enmity, and cruelty, it has undoubtedly deviated from its original purpose. One of the foundational principles of Islamic jurisprudence is the maxim "La Dharar wa la Dhirar fil Islam," meaning "There shall be no harm or reciprocating harm in Islam." This overarching principle prohibits any act or situation that causes harm to an individual or society. A toxic relationship is inherently harmful; whether this harm is emotional, psychological, financial, or even spiritual. An individual trapped in a toxic relationship gradually suffers from emotional exhaustion, decreased self-esteem, chronic anxiety, and deviates from the path of personal growth and perfection. The Quran also states in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 195: "And spend in the way of Allah and do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good." Although this verse was revealed in the context of war and spending, the general concept of "not throwing oneself into destruction" encompasses any harm that a person knowingly inflicts upon themselves. Remaining in a destructive relationship that damages one's soul and psyche is a clear instance of throwing oneself into destruction. Sometimes, people remain in toxic relationships under the guise of 'patience.' While patience (sabr) in the face of difficulties and adversities is indeed a great Islamic virtue, mentioned in numerous verses, a crucial distinction must be made between patience aimed at reform and constructive improvement, and enduring oppression and abuse. Islamic patience is an active, constructive patience undertaken with the goal of improving the situation and with reliance on God, not a passive patience that leads to submission to harm and humiliation. Continuously enduring abuse and disrespect is not only not patience but can lead to a weakening of the soul and a loss of human dignity, which Islam strongly forbids. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "No harm shall be inflicted or reciprocated," and this certainly includes harm to oneself. While the Quran advises Muslims to always act with goodness and kindness, even towards those who mistreat them, this does not mean neglecting one's own rights or allowing others to inflict continuous harm. In Surah An-Nisa, verse 19, Allah advises men to treat their wives with kindness: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good." This verse emphasizes good conduct even in situations of dislike, but it also sets limits for unhealthy relationships. To the extent that in cases where reform is impossible and harm persists, solutions like divorce (as a last resort) are permitted to preserve the well-being of both parties. This itself demonstrates that remaining in a destructive relationship is not preferable to separation. Thus, being alone, especially in circumstances where an individual can use this period for self-development, psychological recovery, and strengthening their connection with Allah, is far more valuable than remaining in a toxic relationship. Solitude in this context is not about isolation from society but about private contemplation to heal wounds and regain inner strength. In purposeful solitude, one can reflect on divine verses, achieve self-knowledge, and plan for a healthier, more fruitful life. This itself is an opportunity for spiritual growth that is lost in the chaos and turmoil of a toxic relationship. Many great spiritual figures and mystics have also experienced periods of seclusion and solitude for the purification of the soul and the attainment of perfection. Therefore, choosing solitude over a toxic relationship is a choice for health, dignity, and spiritual growth, all of which are fundamental principles of Islam and the Holy Quran. Ultimately, Islam provides guidance for forming families and healthy relationships to achieve peace and salvation. When these relationships deviate from their path and become a source of pain and suffering, separating from them is not only permissible but sometimes obligatory, so that an individual can lead a healthy, dignified life in the path of Allah's pleasure. This decision requires courage and wisdom, and from an Islamic perspective, it is a responsible choice for self-preservation and faith.