Why Do Humans Distance Themselves From Each Other?

The phenomenon of humans distancing themselves from one another is a complex issue deeply rooted in human nature, individual choices, and environmental influences. The Holy Quran, as a divine guide, addresses this matter with profound insight, elucidating the primary factors that lead to division and estrangement among people. This distancing can occur at individual, familial, social, and even international levels, ultimately severing bonds that Allah Almighty strongly emphasizes should be maintained. Examining this issue from a Quranic perspective not only helps us better understand the challenges in human relationships but also offers pathways for rebuilding and strengthening these connections. One of the primary causes of distancing is **weakness in faith and heedlessness towards the remembrance of Allah**. When the human heart becomes devoid of the remembrance of its Lord, and its spiritual connection with the Creator weakens, self-centeredness and egoism replace devotion to God. This self-infatuation leads to the manifestation of traits such as **arrogance, pride, and conceit**, which erect strong barriers between individuals and others. The Quran explicitly warns that Allah does not love the arrogant and boastful. In Surah Luqman, verse 18, we read: “And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluded and boastful.” An arrogant person views themselves as superior, disregards others' opinions, and refuses to admit mistakes. These behaviors gradually limit their circle of relationships and drive others away, as no one desires to associate with someone who demeans or undervalues them. Furthermore, a weakness in faith can lead to indifference towards the suffering and needs of others, which is also a significant factor in the breakdown of human relationships. When the sense of social responsibility and empathy diminishes, there is no longer a reason for closeness and solidarity. The second major factor is **Satanic whispers and undesirable social behaviors** that Satan exploits to sow discord and animosity among people. The Holy Quran explicitly states that one of Satan’s primary goals is to create enmity and hatred among believers. In Surah Al-Ma'idah, verse 91, Allah says: “Satan only wants to cause animosity and hatred between you through intoxicants and gambling and to avert you from the remembrance of Allah and from prayer. So will you not desist?” Although this verse specifically mentions intoxicants and gambling, its general principle (creating animosity and hatred) applies to other areas as well. Satan spreads the seeds of mistrust and suspicion in hearts through promoting **backbiting, slander, suspicion, and spying**. Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 12, beautifully prohibits these destructive behaviors: “O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would abhor it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.” This verse clearly forbids bad assumptions, spying on others' affairs, and backbiting, comparing backbiting to eating the flesh of one's dead brother, which evokes extreme disgust and aversion. When individuals in society become suspicious of each other, talk behind each other's backs, or pry into one another's lives, an atmosphere of distrust prevails. Trust is the backbone of any relationship, and when it erodes, people naturally distance themselves to protect themselves from harm and false judgments. Anger and resentment, often the result of these misunderstandings and unjust accusations, poison relationships and lead to separation. A third significant factor is **love for the worldly life (dunya) and material competition**. When worldly life becomes the primary and ultimate goal of human existence, spiritual and human values are marginalized. Competition for wealth and status can ignite envy, stinginess, and malice in hearts. In Surah At-Takathur, Allah Almighty refers to the consequences of this worldliness: “Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you until you visit the graveyards.” This verse indicates that infatuation with accumulating wealth and boasting about possessions distracts humans from the true purpose of creation and from healthy, meaningful relationships with others. When people's worth is measured by their possessions, the poor distance themselves from the rich, and the rich avoid associating with the poor. In this competitive environment, empathy and cooperation give way to envy and selfishness, which causes people to distance themselves from one another instead of seeking closeness and collaboration, even if it comes at the expense of harming others. The fourth factor is **injustice, oppression, and breach of covenants**. Human relationships are built upon justice and mutual respect. When injustice is committed, someone's rights are violated, or a promise is broken, trust is shattered, and deep wounds are inflicted upon relationships. The Holy Quran repeatedly emphasizes the necessity of establishing justice and fulfilling covenants. Allah does not approve of oppression in any way and does not guide the oppressors. When an individual or group feels oppressed, it is natural for them to distance themselves from the oppressor. This distance can initially be emotional and then lead to physical or social separation. Breaking promises and covenants operates similarly. Humans need assurance of faithfulness and adherence to agreements for their relationships to continue. When this assurance vanishes, the foundations of communication weaken, and individuals tend to move away from each other to prevent potential future harm. Finally, the **lack of patience, forgiveness, and forbearance** is also a crucial factor in distancing. In human relationships, disagreements and misunderstandings inevitably arise. The ability to be patient in the face of adversity, to overlook others' mistakes, and to be ready to forgive is key to preserving and strengthening relationships. The Quran invites believers to patience and forgiveness, considering it a characteristic of the righteous. In Surah An-Nur, verse 22, we read: “And let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” If people are unable to overlook each other's faults, every small mistake turns into resentment, and the accumulation of these resentments makes relationships fragile. The inability to listen to opposing views and insistence on one's own positions also exacerbates disputes and ultimately leads to estrangement. In summary, the Holy Quran attributes human distancing from one another directly to deviations from the path of devotion to God, following Satanic whispers, excessive worldliness, injustice and oppression, and the lack of moral virtues such as patience and forgiveness. The Quranic solution to overcome this distancing is to return to piety (taqwa), strengthen one's connection with Allah, guard one's tongue and behavior in society, shun greed and worldliness, and purify the soul with moral virtues. By acting upon these teachings, human bonds can be strengthened, and a society built on love, justice, and solidarity can be established.