Why do some people become self-centered?

The Quran, the holy book of Islam, presents comprehensive guidance for various aspects of human life, including social conduct and relationships. While it does not explicitly address the issue of self-centeredness in detail, it provides profound insights that can be interpreted to understand the concept and its implications. Self-centeredness, fundamentally defined as the belief in one’s superiority and greater importance over others, can indeed be detrimental to individual character and societal harmony. This article delves into Quranic verses and teachings that indirectly address self-centeredness, underscoring the importance of humility, empathy, and communal responsibility. Self-centeredness manifests in individuals who prioritize their own desires, needs, and feelings above everything else, often leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection. It not only hinders personal growth but also undermines collective well-being within a community. The essence of true humanity, as highlighted in the Quran, is deeply intertwined with our ability to connect, empathize, and support one another. In Surah Al-Mu'minun, verses 1 to 3, Allah speaks about the true believers who are humble and devoted in their prayers, encouraging a lifestyle that avoids ignorance and heedlessness: "Successful indeed are the believers. Those who are humble in their prayers and who turn away from ill speech and who are observant of zakat and who guard their private parts" (Quran 23:1-5). These verses remind us that true success lies not in self-importance but in the acknowledgment of our responsibilities towards others and the Creator. The emphasis on humility establishes a foundational principle that opposes self-centeredness, steering individuals towards a collective consciousness rather than individualistic tendencies. The Quran continues to elaborate on the theme of altruism in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 177, where it states: "Righteousness is not that you turn your faces towards the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is in one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the Angels, the Book, and the Prophets and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives zakat; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous" (Quran 2:177). This verse places significant emphasis on the importance of helping others and engaging in charitable acts, emphasizing that true righteousness involves more than simply performing rituals but is demonstrated through our actions toward those in need. In a world increasingly leaning towards individualism and self-advancement, it becomes imperative to reflect on these teachings. The tendency towards self-centeredness may stem from various factors including a lack of self-confidence, poor upbringing, or negative influences from one's environment. For instance, individuals who grow up in competitive settings may develop traits of self-centeredness as they learn to continuously prioritize their own advancement over others. This can create a cycle of selfishness and neglect of communal responsibilities. However, the Quran emphasizes that our connections with others and the sense of empathy towards their struggles are vital in saving ourselves from self-centeredness. By nurturing relationships and maintaining open communication with those around us, individuals can foster a sense of belonging and understanding. The cultivation of empathy allows us to acknowledge not only our pain but also the pain of others, which acts as a powerful antidote against the isolating tendencies of self-centeredness. Furthermore, the teachings of the Quran encourage us to reflect on our lives constantly and direct our efforts toward noble and humanitarian goals. In Surah Al-Isra, verse 70, Allah says, "And We have certainly honored the children of Adam and carried them on the land and sea and provided for them of the good things and preferred them over much of those We created" (Quran 17:70). This honor bestowed upon humanity is a call to recognize our value and the potential for positive contributions to society. By realizing our purpose and committing to uplifting others, we distance ourselves from self-centeredness and narcissism that obscure our intrinsic worth and responsibilities. The notion of collective responsibility is another critical aspect to contend with, as outlined in various verses of the Quran. For instance, in Surah Al-Hujurat, it is stated, "Indeed, the believers are but brothers; so make reconciliation between your brothers" (Quran 49:10). This emphasis on brotherhood and reconciliation promotes a sense of community where individuals are encouraged to prioritize the well-being of others, thus dismantling barriers that self-centeredness might create. In essence, reflection upon our values and engagements with others is paramount to overcoming self-centeredness in our lives. Through understanding and implementing the Quranic teachings of humility, altruism, and empathy, we can navigate the challenges of modern society that often push individuals towards self-interest and isolation. Instead of succumbing to self-centered feelings, striving towards cooperative existence, shared responsibilities, and genuine concern for others promotes healthy relationships crucial for building a compassionate society. Ultimately, the Quran encourages believers to transcend self-centeredness, embracing a life enriched with humility and service to others. This not only supports personal spiritual development but also fosters a united community where love, empathy, and respect flourish. Such is the profound wisdom that the Quran presents on this critical issue, guiding humanity towards a path of true righteousness and fulfillment.