Why Do Some People Get Tired of Kindness?

In the rich teachings of the Holy Quran, kindness, beneficence (Ihsan), and good deeds towards others are considered among the highest moral virtues. Believers are constantly encouraged to be steadfast on this path. However, the question of why some people might 'get tired of kindness' actually points to deeper roots of human nature and the internal and external challenges we face in the path of goodness. Although the Quran does not directly address the phrase 'getting tired of kindness,' it does provide reasons for a decline in motivation to perform good deeds, including kindness, by describing human characteristics, the importance of sincerity, and the consequences of actions, which can lead to this feeling of fatigue. One of the most significant reasons stems from the hasty and impatient nature of human beings. The Quran refers to this human trait in several verses. For example, in Surah Al-Ma'arij, verses 19-21, it states: “Indeed, mankind was created anxious: When evil touches him, impatient, And when good touches him, withholding [of it].” These verses indicate that humans can become impatient when faced with difficulties and may develop a tendency towards stinginess and selfishness when blessed with abundance. When someone shows kindness to another and is met with indifference, ingratitude, or even mistreatment in return, these reactions can erode their patience. Humans naturally expect their kindness to be acknowledged and appreciated. If this expectation is not met, or worse, if their kindness is exploited, they might lose the motivation to continue being kind and feel a sense of exhaustion and discouragement. This fatigue does not arise from the act of kindness itself, but rather from the lack of expected feedback or encountering negative reactions. Another reason is the lack of sincerity and pure intention in performing good deeds. The Holy Quran constantly emphasizes the importance of pure intention (Ikhlas) in all actions. In Surah Al-Bayyinah, verse 5, it says: “And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincere to Him in religion, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give zakat. And that is the correct religion.” If someone performs acts of kindness with the hope of gaining praise from others, becoming popular, or achieving worldly benefits, this kindness is not built on a firm foundation. When these worldly expectations are not fulfilled, their motivation wanes, and they experience a feeling of exhaustion and futility. True and lasting kindness is that which is done for the pleasure of Allah, not to attract the attention of people. A person who reaches this level of sincerity is not disheartened by the ingratitude of others, because their reward is expected not from humans, but from Allah Almighty. Furthermore, encountering ingratitude from others can be a significant factor in creating a sense of fatigue. The Quran explicitly refers to the trait of ingratitude in some human beings. In Surah Al-Adiyat, verse 6, it states: “Indeed, mankind is to his Lord ungrateful.” If humans are sometimes ungrateful even for the countless blessings of their Lord, how can one expect them to always appreciate the kindness of His servants? This understanding should empower believers to perform their kindness solely for the sake of divine pleasure. When an individual shows kindness and receives nothing but ingratitude or even mockery, they might develop the perception that good deeds are futile. However, a true believer knows that their good deeds, even if they bear no fruit in this world, are preserved with Allah and carry immense reward. This Quranic insight creates a strong shield against despair and fatigue resulting from the ingratitude of others. Weakness of faith and hardness of hearts are also factors that can prevent the continuation of kindness. When a person's faith weakens, spiritual motivations diminish, and they are more drawn towards fleeting worldly interests. The Quran states: “Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder.” (Al-Baqarah: 74). Hardened hearts have less capacity to comprehend the suffering of others and are less inclined towards kindness. Continuous sins, heedlessness of Allah, and disregard for divine verses can gradually harden the heart and distance it from the springs of mercy and kindness. Ultimately, the Holy Quran provides the solution and antidote to this fatigue in reliance on Allah, patience, steadfastness, and renewing intentions for His pleasure. Whoever's kindness is rooted in faith in God and seeking reward from Him will never tire of kindness, even if the whole world shows ingratitude towards them. For they know that: “And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.” (Al-Ankabut: 69). This verse and many others show that Allah is the supporter and guide of those who are steadfast in the path of Ihsan and beneficence. Therefore, fatigue from kindness stems from a weak connection with the inexhaustible source of divine power and mercy, and by strengthening this connection, one can overcome this fatigue and always extend a helping hand to others with a heart full of love and hope.