Quranic Answer
The Holy Quran, as a divine guide, comprehensively and profoundly addresses all dimensions of human life, including interpersonal relationships. While the term 'romantic relationship' in its modern, Western sense – often implying pre-marital emotional attachments, dating, and casual liaisons – is not explicitly found in the Quran, it extensively discusses the foundational concepts that form a deep, loving, and lasting bond. The Quran emphasizes the sacred covenant of marriage (nikah), within which 'mawaddah wa rahmah' (love and mercy) hold a special significance. One of the most pivotal verses describing the nature of marital relations is Surah Ar-Rum (30:21), which states: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." This verse clearly indicates that the purpose of creating spouses is to achieve 'sakinah,' or tranquility. This tranquility is not merely physical but a profound spiritual and psychological peace that enables individuals to grow and attain perfection. The word 'mawaddah' signifies active love, deep affection, and enduring friendship that deepens with time and shared experiences. 'Rahmah' refers to compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, ensuring the durability of the relationship through hardships and challenges. These two concepts, mawaddah and rahmah, are the core pillars of a successful marital relationship from the Quranic perspective, demonstrating that the marital bond transcends mere physical attraction or fleeting emotions. Instead, it is a bond built upon love, mutual understanding, and profound compassion. The Quran also beautifully likens spouses to 'garments' for each other in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187): "They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them." This analogy is profoundly insightful. A garment covers imperfections, adorns, protects against elements, and signifies closeness and unity. Spouses are expected to play such roles for each other – protecting, beautifying each other's lives, concealing weaknesses, and being a source of comfort and intimacy. This verse subtly alludes to the physical and emotional dimensions of the marital relationship, emphasizing that within the lawful and permissible framework, it is a source of peace and companionship. Furthermore, the Quran stresses the importance of good conduct, kindness, and justice in marital relationships. Surah An-Nisa (4:19) states: "And live with them in kindness." This injunction encompasses all aspects of shared life, from mutual respect and understanding needs to patience and forgiveness. The Quran generally prohibits pre-marital relationships that could lead to corruption and promiscuity, emphasizing chastity and modesty. The primary goal of these Quranic teachings is not merely to regulate a sexual or social relationship but to build strong families and a healthy society where individuals can pursue their path of growth and perfection in peace and security. Therefore, the relationships referred to in the Quran go beyond a superficial or transient infatuation, focusing instead on deep love, mutual respect, support, and shared growth within the sacred institution of marriage. This love is rooted in pure human nature and divine wisdom, encompassing not only emotional and physical dimensions but also spiritual aspects, aiming to elevate humanity and bring individuals closer to the Almighty Creator. Ultimately, the Quran elucidates 'love' in the best possible way through the concepts of 'mawaddah wa rahmah' and 'sakinah,' which are realized within the sanctity of marriage and commitment. It regards this profound bond as a sign of God's power and wisdom, not merely a fleeting emotion. This approach ensures the stability and depth of relationships, paving the way for success in this world and the hereafter. In summary, the Quran addresses loving relationships not as fleeting emotions but within the strong and stable framework of marriage, referring to them with terms like 'mawaddah wa rahmah' and 'sakinah.' These concepts encompass the deepest levels of love, friendship, mutual understanding, support, and tranquility within the sacred marital bond. They not only fulfill human emotional and physical needs but also contribute to spiritual and moral growth. This Quranic approach reflects a long-term and comprehensive view of human relationships, transcending any superficial or momentary definition of love and focusing on true human well-being in all aspects of life. By emphasizing marriage as the primary context for these relationships, the Quran highlights the importance of chastity, responsibility, and mutual respect in building a stable family and a healthy society. These teachings guide humanity in establishing relationships that are not only a source of joy and peace in this world but also a means of drawing closer to God and gaining His pleasure in the hereafter.
Related Verses
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
Ar-Rum : 21
أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَائِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ ۗ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ كُنتُمْ تَخْتَانُونَ أَنفُسَكُمْ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَعَفَا عَنكُمْ ۖ فَالْآنَ بَاشِرُوهُنَّ وَابْتَغُوا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۚ وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ الْخَيْطُ الْأَبْيَضُ مِنَ الْخَيْطِ الْأَسْوَدِ مِنَ الْفَجْرِ ۚ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّوا الصِّيَامَ إِلَى اللَّيْلِ ۚ وَلَا تُبَاشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنتُمْ عَاكِفُونَ فِي الْمَسَاجِدِ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ فَلَا تَقْرَبُوهَا ۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَّقُونَ
Permitted for you on the night of the fast is sexual approach to your wives. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now have sexual relations with them and seek what Allah has ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the night. And do not have sexual relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques. These are the limits of Allah, so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may become righteous.
Al-Baqarah : 187
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulty for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
An-Nisa : 19
Short Story
It is narrated that a man, in the early days of his marriage, had some disagreements with his wife. He took his grievances to a wise old man. The elder said: "My son, married life is like a garden that you must water with your own hands. If you merely wait for rain from the sky, no flowers will ever bloom." He added, "What you expect from the garden of your life, you must first plant yourself: love, respect, and kindness. Both husband and wife must be like the two wings of a bird to soar to the heights of happiness. Do not merely seek your spouse's flaws, but appreciate their virtues and continuously water the seeds of affection, so that the tree of mawaddah and rahmah may bear abundant fruit in your lives." The man, guided by these words, changed his approach to life and realized that true tranquility lies in heartfelt connection and good conduct, not in waiting for an external miracle.