Quranic Answer
In the Holy Quran, the duties and responsibilities of parents towards their children, although not explicitly listed in a direct, itemized fashion, can be clearly inferred from numerous verses and general principles concerning family and the upbringing of future generations. The Quran emphasizes that the family is the foundational social unit, and parents play a pivotal role in shaping the character and upbringing of their children. This role extends beyond merely providing for material needs and encompasses profound spiritual, ethical, and social dimensions. One of the most crucial duties of parents from a Quranic perspective is the sound upbringing and guidance of their children towards God and the path of truth. This duty begins with an emphasis on Tawhid (the oneness of God) and shunning polytheism. The story of Luqman the Wise in Surah Luqman serves as a prime example of this duty. Luqman advises his son never to associate partners with Allah, for polytheism is indeed a grave injustice. This illustrates that the first lesson parents should impart is about the oneness of God and faith in Him. Furthermore, Luqman reminds his son to establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient in the face of adversity. These counsels present a comprehensive picture of the religious and moral upbringing that parents are obligated to provide. The Quran also stresses the responsibility of parents to protect their children from the Hellfire. In Surah At-Tahrim, verse 6, Allah states: "O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones..." This verse clearly highlights the parents' responsibility in the religious and moral education of their children, ensuring they are saved from deviation and corruption and tread the path of salvation. Protecting the family from Hellfire implies proper education, providing a healthy environment, and encouraging righteous deeds. Providing for the sustenance and material needs of children is also a significant parental duty. While the Quran does not delve into specific financial details, it emphasizes the necessity of spending on and supporting the family in various verses. For instance, in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 233, it discusses the mother's duty to nurse and the father's responsibility to provide for her and the child in a befitting manner. This verse implicitly indicates the father's duty to support the family and children. This provision must be such that the family's dignity is preserved, and the children feel secure and adequately provided for. Moreover, parents are obliged to create an environment filled with love, mercy, and compassion for their children. The Holy Quran repeatedly stresses mercy and affection in family relationships. The family environment should be a place for the emotional and psychological development of children, where they feel secure, loved, and valued. This compassion and kindness are evident not only in daily interactions but also in addressing children's mistakes; parents should guide with wisdom and empathy, not with harshness and rejection. Education and nurturing of children are also crucial duties of parents. This education includes learning the Quran, religious rulings, and also sciences and skills beneficial for life. The Holy Quran consistently emphasizes thought, intellect, and the acquisition of knowledge. Parents should guide their children towards knowledge and wisdom so that they can play a constructive role in society and build their lives based on understanding and insight. Finally, parents themselves must be practical role models for their children. The behavior and actions of parents influence children more than their words. The Quran, which instructs believers to have the best speech and conduct, applies this principle to parents as well. If parents do not practice what they preach, they cannot expect their children to follow them. Therefore, piety, honesty, justice, and respecting the rights of others in the lives of parents are the best practical lessons for children. In summary, the duties of parents in the Holy Quran can be categorized into the following areas: spiritual and moral upbringing (the most crucial duty), protecting children from misguidance and deviation (both worldly and otherworldly), providing material needs and ensuring a dignified life, creating an environment full of love and mercy, encouraging learning and intellectual growth, and finally, serving as practical role models for their children. These duties are a divine trust bestowed upon parents, and immense rewards are promised in this world and the hereafter for fulfilling them correctly.
Related Verses
وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌ
And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice."
Luqman : 13
يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا أَصَابَكَ ۖ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ
O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.
Luqman : 17
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ
O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.
At-Tahrim : 6
وَالْوَالِدَاتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَادَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ ۖ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ ۚ وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ لَا تُكَلَّفُ نَفْسٌ إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَا تُضَارَّ وَالِدَةٌ بِوَلَدِهَا وَلَا مَوْلُودٌ لَّهُ بِوَلَدِهِ ۚ وَعَلَى الْوَارِثِ مِثْلُ ذَٰلِكَ ۗ فَإِنْ أَرَادَا فِصَالًا عَن تَرَاضٍ مِّنْهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرٍ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا ۗ وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمْ أَن تَسْتَرْضِعُوا أَوْلَادَكُمْ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِذَا سَلَّمْتُم مَّا آتَيْتُم بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ
Mothers may breastfeed their children for two whole years, for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is reasonable. No soul is charged except [with that within] its capacity. No mother should be harmed through her child, nor a father through his child. And upon the [father's] heir is [a similar obligation]. And if they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon them. And if you wish to have your children nursed by a substitute, there is no blame upon you as long as you give what you agreed upon with reasonableness. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Seeing of what you do.
Al-Baqarah : 233
Short Story
It is narrated in Saadi's Golestan that a king had an ignorant and unruly son. One day, he said to a wise man, "What should I do with this son who neither accepts advice nor learns manners?" The wise man smiled and replied, "O King, if a seed is not planted in good soil from the beginning, it will never become a fruit-bearing tree. A child is the same. If you did not sow the seeds of manners and knowledge in his heart during childhood, do not expect the fruit of righteousness and uprightness from him in adulthood. Upbringing is like laying a foundation; the pillars must be strengthened from the beginning so that the roof does not collapse." This story gently reminds us that the primary duty of parents, from the very beginning, is to plant good seeds and water them with love and wisdom, so that fruitful branches of manners and faith may grow from them.