The Quran emphasizes managing relationships based on piety, kindness, justice, and mercy, including treating family, relatives, neighbors, and all people with good speech, forgiveness, and fulfilling trusts, to build a righteous and balanced society.
The Holy Quran, as a comprehensive guide for all aspects of human life, provides profound and detailed guidance on how to manage and regulate relationships with others. From the Quranic perspective, human interactions are not merely a social dimension but an integral part of worship and a path to drawing closer to Allah. The quality of our interactions with others reflects our faith, ethics, and inner perception, and consequently, brings divine reward or accountability. Quranic principles for managing relationships are built upon strong foundations such as Taqwa (God-consciousness), Ihsan (excellence and kindness), Adl (justice), and Rahmah (mercy). Each of these principles not only helps improve individual relationships but also contributes to building a healthy and balanced society. The Quran invites humanity towards unity and solidarity, condemning all forms of division and enmity, because all people are servants of God, created from a single soul. Allah states in the Quran: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (Al-Hujurat, 49:13). This verse clearly indicates that human diversity is for mutual recognition, not for superiority or enmity, and that the criterion for nobility is only Taqwa, not race or ethnicity. One of the most fundamental principles in relationships is "Ihsan" (excellence and kindness). Ihsan means doing good, not just fulfilling obligations, but going beyond that with pure intention. The Quran recommends Ihsan in numerous verses. This kindness includes good treatment of parents (Al-Isra, 17:23-24), relatives, orphans, the needy, neighbors, friends, and even strangers. Kindness to parents holds a special place; Allah commands us not to utter even the slightest unpleasant word (like "uff") to them and to treat them with humility and affection. In fact, kindness to parents is mentioned immediately after the oneness of God, indicating its immense importance. In addition to Ihsan, "Adl and Qist" (justice and fairness) in all interactions, even with enemies, is a vital principle. The Quran states: “And let not the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness.” (Al-Ma'idah, 5:8). This principle not only builds relationships on respect and trust but also prevents conflicts and oppression. Managing one's speech and language is also of paramount importance in human relationships. The Holy Quran advises believers to “speak to people good words” (Al-Baqarah, 2:83). This includes abstaining from backbiting, slander, tale-carrying, mockery, and any words that cause harm or resentment. In Surah Al-Hujurat (49:11-12), Allah strictly forbids believers from ridiculing one another, calling each other by offensive nicknames, harboring ill suspicions, spying, and backbiting. These commands aim to preserve people's dignity, foster mutual trust, and create an atmosphere of security and respect in society. Speaking softly and kindly, even to opponents (as commanded to Moses and Aaron when speaking to Pharaoh in Surah Ta-Ha, 20:44), demonstrates the high value of "Qawl Layyin" (gentle speech) in Islam. Patience and forbearance in the face of others' mistakes and the power of "Afw" (forgiveness) are also prominent characteristics of believers that significantly contribute to the stability of relationships. The Quran says: “And that you pardon is nearer to righteousness.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:237). This spirit of forgiveness eliminates grudges and provides an opportunity to mend relationships. Furthermore, maintaining "Silat al-Rahim" (kinship ties) is repeatedly emphasized in the Quran and Sunnah. Breaking ties with relatives is forbidden, and maintaining kinship is presented as a way to gain Allah's pleasure and blessings in life. This includes visiting, providing financial aid (if needed), and offering emotional support to relatives. In broader public relations, the Quran emphasizes "Ta'awun ala al-birri wal-taqwa" (cooperation in righteousness and piety) and warns against "Ta'awun ala al-ithmi wal-udwan" (cooperation in sin and aggression) (Al-Ma'idah, 5:2). This principle forms the foundation of a cooperative and responsible society. Fulfilling promises and trustworthiness are also essential pillars of healthy relationships, helping to build trust and stability in interactions. The Holy Quran strongly emphasizes the importance of fulfilling covenants and considers it a characteristic of believers. In summary, managing relationships from the Quranic perspective is built upon deep foundations of faith, ethics, and humanity, aiming to create a righteous individual and a society filled with peace, justice, love, and mutual respect. These guidelines are not only beneficial for tranquility in this life but also bring forth rewards in the hereafter, for every interaction we have with others is an opportunity to draw closer to Allah and implement His commands.
And [recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel, [saying], "Do not worship except Allah; and to parents, good treatment; and to relatives, orphans, and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and give zakat." Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were refusing.
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], 'uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.
It is narrated that a wise and kind-hearted man had a short-tempered and ill-spoken neighbor. Whenever the ill-tempered neighbor uttered a harsh word or did an unpleasant deed, the wise man would respond with a smile and patience, never retaliating in kind. One day, the neighbor's son asked his father, "How is it that this kind man is so gentle with you, while you always distress him?" The father replied, "I too am amazed by his behavior." The wise man, overhearing this conversation, said: "My friend, Saadi says: 'Be kind to the bad, for the good are already good.' For a fruit-laden tree is pelted with stones, yet it still yields fruit." The ill-tempered neighbor was touched by these wise words, felt ashamed, and thereafter sought to improve himself, for he saw that kindness and forbearance could open a heart that anger could not.