How to remain steadfast in faith when facing family problems?

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. The family unit is the backbone of Islamic society and the primary school for nurturing individuals. The Holy Quran repeatedly emphasizes the importance of family ties, respect for parents, and mutual rights. However, it also clearly states that family, just like wealth and children, can be a place of trial and test of faith. When facing family problems and challenges, which can sometimes be very difficult and overwhelming, maintaining the path of faith and not deviating from it requires a deep understanding of Quranic teachings and their application in daily life. One of the most central Quranic teachings in confronting hardships is patience (sabr) and prayer (salat). In Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 153, Allah states: “O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” This verse is a practical roadmap for any believer facing challenges. Patience means enduring difficulties with steadfastness, self-restraint against anger and harshness, and persistence in upholding the truth. In family problems, patience means not reacting immediately or aggressively, striving to understand the other party, and maintaining inner calm. Patience is not just a moral virtue; it is a tremendous power that makes a person resilient against turmoil. Prayer is a direct connection with the Creator, a safe haven for the wandering and distressed soul. During prayer, a person surrenders all their spiritual and mental burdens to Allah and seeks His help. This spiritual connection calms the heart and grants insight to see problems from a broader, divine perspective. Prayer reminds a person that they are not alone and that a higher power is always observing and assisting them. It anchors the soul, preventing it from drifting away from its spiritual core when overwhelmed by domestic discord. The tranquility found in prostration and supplication can provide clarity and strength to navigate even the most intricate family disputes, affirming one's dependence on the Almighty and reinforcing the belief that solutions lie beyond human limitations. The Holy Quran also teaches us that our spouses and children can be a means of testing us. In Surah At-Taghabun, verse 14, Allah says: “O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” This verse points to a crucial aspect: family problems should not cause a person to deviate from the path of faith; rather, they should be dealt with through pardon, overlooking, and forgiveness. The word “enemies” here does not mean those who intend to harm you, but rather those who, due to excessive love or worldly attachments, might divert you from the remembrance of Allah and the performance of religious duties, or lead you to sin and error. Therefore, the solution provided by the Quran is not retaliation, but rather 'afw (pardon), safh (overlooking faults), and ghufran (complete forgiveness). These virtues empower a person to solve problems and eliminate grudges. Forgiveness lifts the heavy burden of resentment from a person’s shoulders and paves the way for peace and tranquility. This approach benefits not only the parties involved but also strengthens the individual's faith and brings them closer to divine attributes. It encourages a mindset of compassion and understanding, transforming potential points of conflict into opportunities for spiritual growth and manifestation of Allah's mercy within one's own character. By choosing forgiveness over bitterness, a believer reaffirms their commitment to Islamic values, demonstrating trust in Allah's ultimate justice and wisdom. Trust and reliance on Allah (Tawakkul 'ala Allah) is another crucial foundation for dealing with family problems without losing faith. In Surah At-Talaq, verses 2 and 3, Allah says: “…And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” These verses are a hopeful and comforting promise to believers who find themselves in distress. Tawakkul means that after fulfilling one's duties, a person entrusts the outcome to Allah, believing with certainty that He will ordain the best for them. In family problems, tawakkul means that even if an immediate solution is not achieved despite all efforts and prayers, one should not despair but know that Allah is capable of all things and will provide a solution from an unexpected source. This outlook brings peace of mind and prevents falling into despair and hopelessness, which can itself endanger faith. It instills a profound sense of security, knowing that one's affairs are ultimately in the hands of the All-Wise, All-Capable. This reliance shifts the burden from the individual to the Divine, allowing for acceptance of outcomes and continued perseverance with a hopeful heart. When faith is anchored in Tawakkul, even the most formidable family challenges become manageable, as the believer understands that every difficulty is part of a larger divine plan leading to ultimate good, strengthening their connection to the Almighty and their resolve on the straight path. In summary, to avoid deviating from the path of faith when facing family problems, we must make the following principles our guide: First, seeking refuge in patience and prayer as two main pillars of steadfastness. Second, accepting the reality that family can be a field for testing faith, and our approach should be based on 'afw (pardon), safh (overlooking), and ghufran (forgiveness). Third, strengthening tawakkul and complete reliance on Allah, with the certainty that He is the best supporter and guide. Fourth, upholding mutual rights and showing kindness (ihsan) in family relations, even in difficult circumstances, as this is a clear divine command that strengthens the bonds of faith. By adhering to these principles, we can not only navigate the storms of family problems safely but also strengthen our faith and draw closer to Allah. This path is the path to true peace and eternal felicity.