Is Regretting Lost Opportunities Beneficial?

Regretting lost opportunities is an experience almost every human being faces throughout their life. This feeling can sometimes be incredibly heavy and overwhelming, trapping an individual in a cycle of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys.' But from the perspective of the Holy Quran and Islamic teachings, how should we approach this regret? Is it beneficial? The Holy Quran teaches us that everything that comes to us or is taken from us in this world is by Divine knowledge and decree. In Surah Al-Hadid, verse 23, Allah says: "Lest you grieve over what has escaped you, nor exult in what He has given you. And Allah does not love every self-deluded and boastful person." This verse provides us with a profound lesson: one should neither become overly joyous about what one possesses nor excessively sorrowful over what one has lost or missed. This implies that drowning in regret and sorrow over missed worldly opportunities, to the extent that it leads to despair and inaction, is not endorsed by the Quran. Such regret is not only unbeneficial but can also hinder a person's progress, both spiritually and materially. It directs the individual's mind and energy towards an unchangeable past, making them oblivious to the present and the future. This type of regret often indicates a lack of complete reliance on Allah (Tawakkul) and an insufficient acceptance of Divine decree (Qadar). However, it is crucial to differentiate between "destructive regret" and "constructive remorse." If the regret over lost opportunities stems from sins committed, negligence in fulfilling religious duties, or injustice towards others, then this feeling of remorse (often termed 'nadam' in Islamic discourse) is not only not harmful but is a vital part of the process of repentance (Tawbah) and returning to Allah. True repentance comprises three pillars: heartfelt remorse for the sin, a firm resolve to abandon it in the future, and making amends if possible. This constructive remorse compels a person to learn from past mistakes and plan better for their future. The Quran refers to the importance of repentance and returning to Allah in several verses. For instance, in Surah Aal-Imran, verse 135, it states: "And those who, when they commit an indecency or wrong themselves, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins — and who can forgive sins except Allah? — and do not persist in what they have done while they know." This verse demonstrates that remembering one's faults and feeling remorse for them, provided it leads to seeking forgiveness and changing behavior, is highly commendable and beneficial. Furthermore, the Quran warns us against despairing of Allah's mercy. In Surah Yusuf, verse 87, we read: "...and do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of the mercy of Allah except the disbelieving people." This verse strongly emphasizes maintaining hope and avoiding despair, even if one has committed a great sin or missed many opportunities. Excessive regret that leads to despair prevents an individual from striving to make amends and seizing new opportunities, thereby weakening their faith. In summary, regret over lost opportunities, if it means continuous sorrow and lamentation over the past leading to inaction and despair, is not beneficial from the Quranic perspective and is even harmful. However, if this regret is the kind of 'remorse' that leads to awakening, repentance, learning from mistakes, and motivates righteous action in the future, then it is not only beneficial but a divine blessing for self-correction and returning to the right path of life. The main key is to learn from the past, rely on Allah, and step forward into the future with strong determination, knowing that true opportunities lie in righteous deeds and in seeking the pleasure of the Lord.