Why Do I Seek Others' Approval in Good Deeds?

The inclination to seek approval from others when performing good deeds is a deeply ingrained aspect of human nature. From childhood, we are often conditioned to respond positively to praise and recognition, and this desire for validation can extend to acts of charity, kindness, and devotion. While a certain degree of social affirmation is normal for humans, Islamic teachings offer a profound perspective that shifts the focus of our actions from external human validation to an internal orientation towards divine pleasure. The core principle that governs the acceptance and reward of any good deed in Islam is the purity of intention (Niyyah) and sincerity (Ikhlas) directed solely towards Allah Almighty. The Holy Quran, in numerous verses and through various narratives, guides believers to cultivate a mindset where their good deeds are performed exclusively for the sake of Allah, seeking His reward and pleasure alone. Any desire for worldly recognition, praise, or fame (known as Riya' in Islamic terminology) can significantly diminish, or even completely negate, the spiritual value of these actions. This emphasis on sincerity is not merely a recommendation but a fundamental requirement for the acceptance of deeds in the sight of God. A pivotal verse that encapsulates this principle is found in Surah Al-Bayyinah (The Clear Proof), verse 5: “And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, [being] sincerely obedient to Him, inclining to truth, and to establish prayer and to give zakah. And that is the correct religion.” This powerful verse unequivocally states that the very purpose of creation and religious practice is to worship Allah with utmost sincerity. The phrase “مخلصين له الدين” (sincerely obedient to Him in religion) implies a purification of all actions from any form of associating partners with Allah, including the subtle shirk of seeking human praise alongside divine pleasure. If our primary motivation for performing a good deed becomes the acclaim of people, we are, in essence, giving a share of our worship to creation rather than solely to the Creator. The Quran further issues a stern warning against the destructive nature of Riya' (showing off) in Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow), verse 264: “O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders [of it] or [other] injury, like one who spends his wealth [only] to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day.” This verse paints a vivid picture of how seeking human approval can nullify the spiritual benefit of charity. It likens such an act to a seemingly strong foundation built on a smooth rock, which is then washed away by a torrential rain, leaving nothing behind. A deed performed with the intention of being seen or praised by others lacks the spiritual depth and sincerity required for divine acceptance, regardless of its outward appearance. The external act might seem beneficial, but if the internal intention is corrupt, its true essence is lost. It is important to understand that the human desire for affirmation is a natural instinct. However, Islam challenges us to elevate this instinct beyond the transient and often superficial opinions of people to the eternal and absolute judgment of Allah. True and lasting reward comes only from Him, who knows what is in the hearts and minds. Human praise is fleeting and often based on incomplete information, whereas Allah's knowledge is comprehensive and His reward is everlasting. To cultivate sincerity, continuous self-reflection and conscious purification of intentions are paramount. Before, during, and after any good deed, one should habitually examine their heart: “Am I doing this purely for Allah, or is there an underlying desire for human praise or recognition?” This continuous introspection, known as Muhasabah (self-accounting), is crucial for maintaining a pure intention. The beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) beautifully articulated this principle when he said: “Indeed, actions are judged by their intentions, and every person will attain what he intended.” This foundational Prophetic teaching, while not a direct Quranic verse, perfectly complements the Quranic emphasis on Niyyah and Ikhlas, underscoring that the internal state of the doer is what truly matters in the sight of Allah. Moreover, Surah Al-Kahf (The Cave), verse 110, provides a comprehensive directive for all who aspire to meet their Lord with accepted deeds: “Say, ‘I am only a man like you, to whom has been revealed that your God is one God. So whoever would hope for the meeting with his Lord - let him do righteous work and not associate in the worship of his Lord anyone.’” The concluding phrase “وَلَا يُشْرِكْ بِعِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ أَحَدًا” (and not associate in the worship of his Lord anyone) extends beyond explicit idol worship to encompass even the subtle forms of shirk, such as performing good deeds for human praise. When we seek validation from people for our acts of worship or benevolence, we are, in a subtle yet significant way, associating them as partners in our devotion, diverting our focus from the exclusive worship of Allah. Overcoming the inclination to seek external validation requires strengthening one’s spiritual connection with Allah. This involves deepening one’s understanding of Allah’s attributes, particularly His omniscience (Al-Aleem, The All-Knowing) and His all-encompassing awareness (Al-Baseer, The All-Seeing). When we truly internalize that Allah sees every hidden act and knows every secret intention, the need for human recognition diminishes. Reflecting on the Day of Judgment, when all deeds, open and hidden, will be weighed, also serves as a powerful motivator for purifying intentions. On that momentous Day, only deeds performed with sincerity for Allah’s sake will bear fruit. In conclusion, while seeking approval is a part of the human condition, Islam guides us to transcend this desire when it comes to our acts of worship and good deeds. It calls us to cultivate absolute sincerity (Ikhlas), making the pleasure of Allah our sole objective. By focusing on Allah alone, we not only ensure the acceptance and abundant reward for our actions but also attain profound inner peace, spiritual contentment, and a genuine connection with the Divine. This freedom from the burden of human expectations allows us to serve Allah with a truly liberated heart. The ultimate success and eternal benefit lie in prioritizing Allah’s recognition over the fleeting praise of humankind, a continuous journey of self-purification and unwavering devotion.