Why do I sometimes feel resentment despite having faith?

Dear sister or brother, your question is profoundly insightful and addresses a concern that many individuals, even those with strong faith, may grapple with. Understanding why, despite having a believing heart and leaning towards God, one sometimes experiences feelings of resentment or ill-will requires deep contemplation of the human psyche and the rich teachings of the Holy Quran. It is crucial to recognize that faith is not a static state but an ongoing journey of growth and evolution; a path where one constantly strives against the ego (nafs al-ammarah bis-su') and the whisperings of Satan. The Holy Quran explicitly states that human beings, with all their perfections and capacities to attain proximity to God, also possess weaknesses and imperfections. The human soul inherently has inclinations that can lead it towards sin and moral vices, unless it is guided by divine nurturing and Quranic guidance. Resentment, in essence, is one such moral vice that stems from self-love, arrogance, and a lack of contentment with divine decree. When an individual feels wronged or believes their rights have been violated, without resorting to patience and forgiveness, the seed of resentment is planted in their heart. Over time, it grows and can tarnish the purity and clarity of faith. The Quran offers very precise practical and spiritual solutions to combat these challenges. One of the most significant of these solutions is the concept of 'forgiveness and pardon' (afw). In Surah Al-Imran, verse 134, Allah Almighty enumerates the qualities of the pious, stating: "وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ"; which means, "[Those] who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good." This verse clearly indicates that suppressing anger (kazimeen al-ghayth) and pardoning the faults of others (al-afeena anin-nas) are not only characteristics of the righteous but also attract Allah's love. Resentment is, in effect, the continuation and persistence of suppressed anger and unforgiveness. If anger is controlled and leads to forgiveness, resentment does not find an opportunity to sprout. Sometimes, the root of resentment lies in self-righteousness and the feeling of 'I am right, and they are wrong.' In such cases, the Quran invites us to humility and the acceptance of our own mistakes, or even to overlook the mistakes of others. In Surah Al-A'raf, verse 199, it states: "خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ"; meaning, "Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant." This verse not only emphasizes forgiveness but also presents the solution of turning away from the ignorant. This implies that sometimes, the best way to free oneself from resentment and mental conflicts is to ignore the actions and words of those who lack sufficient wisdom and insight. The importance of a heart free from resentment and malice (ghill) is beautifully expressed in Surah Al-Hashr, verse 10, where believers pray for their fellow believers: "وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ"; meaning, "And put not in our hearts rancor toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful." This supplication demonstrates the early Muslims' awareness of the danger of resentment and their effort to eradicate it from their hearts. Resentment towards fellow believers jeopardizes the unity and solidarity of the believing community and leads to discord. This prayer is, in fact, a practical lesson that to maintain purity and brotherhood, we must ask Allah to cleanse our hearts from all forms of resentment and ill-will. Furthermore, in Surah Fussilat, verses 34 and 35, the Holy Quran provides a practical method for transforming enmity into friendship, which effectively dries up the roots of resentment: "وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ. وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ"; meaning, "And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that which is better; then suddenly, the one whom between you and him was enmity will become as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good]." These verses emphasize that repelling evil with good requires patience and strong will. When we respond with kindness instead of retaliation or vengeance, we not only dry up the roots of resentment in the other party but also free our own hearts from the heavy burden of resentment. In summary, having faith does not mean the absence of experiencing human emotions, but rather it means having the tools and guidance to manage these emotions. Strong faith enables an individual to: 1. Identify the root causes of resentment within themselves (such as arrogance, love of this world, lack of trust in divine justice). 2. Suppress their anger and move towards forgiveness and pardon. 3. Through supplication and humility, ask Allah to cleanse their heart from all resentment. 4. In practice, respond to evil with good to purify their surroundings from resentment. This is an internal struggle, and the more we persevere in it, the more luminous our hearts will become, our faith will deepen, and true tranquility will be achieved. Remembering that this world is a test and that ultimate justice will be established on the Day of Judgment can also help release worldly resentments and lead us towards forgiveness and purity.