Is it permissible to ask God to change me?

Asking God to change you is not only permissible and free of any fault, but it is also considered one of the deepest and most beautiful expressions of a servant's relationship with their Creator. This act signifies an acknowledgment of God's absolute power, a servant's humility before the Almighty's grandeur, and an understanding that all change and transformation, whether internal or external, ultimately originates from the divine source of grace. The Holy Quran explicitly emphasizes the importance of supplication (Du'a) and asking from God, viewing it as a means to open the doors of mercy and blessing. When a person asks God to change them, they are, in fact, embarking on a spiritual and internal journey that encompasses various dimensions. First and foremost, it signifies reliance on and trust in God's power. As human beings, we have limitations, and sometimes, to overcome bad habits, character flaws, or even challenging life circumstances, we need a power beyond ourselves. This is where asking God becomes meaningful. In Surah Ghafir, verse 60, the Quran states: "And your Lord says, 'Call upon Me; I will respond to you. Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.'" This verse is a clear and general invitation from God for His servants to call upon Him, and He promises to respond. Asking for change is itself an act of this supplication and worship, as it demonstrates dependence and neediness towards the Creator. But how does this change occur? In Surah Ar-Ra'd, verse 11, the Quran states: "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." This verse is profound and pregnant with meaning, articulating a fundamental principle in the process of change. It implies that asking God for change should not be interpreted as absolving oneself of responsibility. Rather, this request itself is part of the "internal change." When you ask God to change you, it indicates your inner will and desire for self-improvement, for abandoning weaknesses, and for acquiring virtues. This is an active decision that is reinforced by prayer. Thus, from a Quranic perspective, change is a two-way process: on one hand, determination, effort, and action from the human being are necessary; on the other hand, divine aid, enabling grace (Tawfiq), and mercy are essential. Praying for change not only prompts God to open the doors of His mercy and help to us, but it also instills within us a sense of responsibility and motivation to act. This prayer is like a seed sown in the soil of determination and resolve, watered by reliance on God and effort, eventually bearing fruit. What types of changes can one ask God for? These changes can be highly diverse: 1. Changing undesirable habits and character traits: For example, if a person suffers from excessive anger, envy, laziness, lying, or other moral vices, they can ask God to help them abandon these traits and, instead, strengthen moral virtues such as patience, forbearance, generosity, truthfulness, and kindness within them. This request is a sign of self-awareness and a desire for inner purification. 2. Changing life's direction and seeking guidance: Often, humans find themselves at crossroads and are in need of guidance. Asking God for "steadfastness of heart" and "not to deviate" after guidance, similar to the prayer mentioned in Surah Al-Imran, verse 8: "Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestower." This prayer demonstrates the profound human need for continuous divine guidance. 3. Changing one's emotional and psychological state: Many people struggle with anxiety, depression, despair, or fear. Asking God for tranquility, patience, hope, and spiritual strength is one of the best ways to cope with these conditions. The Quran consistently links tranquility to the remembrance of God: "Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." (Ar-Ra'd 13:28). 4. Changing external life circumstances: Although the primary emphasis is on internal change, asking God for change in life circumstances such as illness, poverty, family problems, or social issues is also permissible. However, these requests must be accompanied by submission and acceptance of God's decree, recognizing that God's wisdom precedes all things. Ultimately, this act of asking God creates a deeper and continuous bond with Him. When we ask God to change us, we are essentially placing ourselves on the path of growth and perfection. The belief that God is All-Hearing and Responsive gives us hope and motivation to strive for betterment. This act not only benefits the individual but also contributes to a healthier and thriving society, as the improvement of each individual is a step towards the betterment of the entire community. Therefore, with a heart full of hope and trust, one can ask the Almighty Lord to change us for the best and be our helper and supporter on this path.